I have an audition for an acting school in a week. I have no idea how to prepare or what I am going to read for my monologues. I've known about this audition for months, and yet I kept putting it in the back of my mind.
My theory is that, there is a certain amount of procrastination pressure that I emotionally respond very well too, that might actually help in my performance. That bare, raw emotion, that is so vulnerable, alive and real. So I've taken off a week from my very hip party job, to prepare in hopes that something will surprise me and the judges of my piece. I'm not worried, yet. When I perform it gives me an escape from all the thoughts in my head, all the self conscious ways I've become to aware of. It's the flight or fight of a healthy amount of pressure.
It's raining here....I love summer rain. When I don't have to be outside in it of course. I feel refreshed by rain and alive when I feel a large boom of thunder. Being in New York, I feel so disconnected from nature, so when things have no choice but to slow down and cool down due to the weather, I personally feel very thankful for it.
So this week, I hope to feel revived and ready, a sort of metamorphosis if you will. I'm ready for that next stepping stone whatever it may be. I've been flying blindly for quite some time, having faith and hope, but also praying and wishing for a clearing, something I can attach myself to that will encourage growth. Keeping my fingers crossed, I feel on the precipice of something full of potential.